Online Dating – Zero degrees of separation

So I’ve finally branched out on my internet dating, and I’ve gone and joined Plenty of Fish alongside Tinder. A colleague recently informed me, whilst many drinks in, that Tinder is for getting laid and Plenty of Fish is for finding a relationship, and ladies and gentlemen, I think after 18 months of singledom, it might be time for me to start thinking about relationships again.

To start the story, I should explain that I’d headed off on a girls holiday a few weeks ago, for what was meant to be a week of sun, sand and sea. Before I went, I’d started chatting to this guy, and had really hit it off. However, the holiday was a bit of a bust as I ended up with a sinus infection and spent most of the holiday sleeping. I came back as a total grump, ended up ignoring my Tinder and not getting back to the nice guy I’d been talking to before I headed.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, a friend had set up a Plenty of Fish account, and decided that the only way I could see his profile was if I joined and it came up (suffice to say, it pops up all the fucking time!!), and just after I’d set it up, the nice guy from Tinder messaged me again. We tried to set up a date, but he was off on holidays and the dates just weren’t working out, so we exchanged phone numbers with the idea that we’d set up something when he got home.

In the meantime, I’d stated chatting to this guy on POF that I quite liked. Lots of things in common, similar interest in music, very my type. Seemed like a nice guy, until he told me about the holiday he’d planned. You guessed it, it was the same holiday, that he was going on with his friends, his childhood friends, whom he lived with…. I’d managed to start chatting to two guys, who live together. Both of whom I really liked. I spoke to a few friends about the situation and received much advice, which ranged from “Say nothing and go on dates with both of them” to “Woot, just ask them for a threesome”….. suffice to say that although I love my friends, they are useless sometimes!

So I had to make a decision, and I decided that the original Tinder guy was the one that I wanted to meet up with, so I did a horrible thing. I ghosted his friend. So there I am, waiting for the Tinder guy to come back from holidays, so I can go on a date with him. All the while knowing that I almost went on a date with one of his best friends. In a total conundrum, so I filled my male housemate in. In his wisdom, he informed me that there was no way that these guys weren’t aware of the situation. In my total naivete I disagreed with him. I really don’t think guys go into that much detail with their friends? Anyone want to set me straight in the comments?

Cutting a longer, obsessive checking of Tinder and POF story short, I heard nothing from the nice guy when he got back from his holiday. I got no dates out of the situation at all! I ghosted his friend, he ghosted me. I kind of got what I deserved there, I think. So, let us see what I’ve learnt from this;

  • Ireland, and specifically Dublin, is too fucking small for dating!!
  • If you have a type, it’s safe to assume you’re chatting to people who know each other
  • I’m a horrible person!!
  • If you find yourself in this situation, don’t stop talking to either of them until you’ve been on the date (yes, I’m a terrible person!)

So next week I’m going to cover a little about that rebound relationship, the one that hurts more than the original big break up… we’ve all been there ☹


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